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Deviation Actions
Literature Text
User: Ask me who I am.
Cleverbot: Ask you?
User: Yeah, ask me.
Cleverbot: Ask you what?
User: Ask me who I am, I've told you.
Cleverbot: Which was.
User: What? You're just confusing me, who are you?
Cleverbot: You're confusing me. Are you really a bot?
User: No, I wouldn't dream of it. I'm the Doctor.
Cleverbot: Are you lying to me?
User: I'd be lying if I told you I was John Smith, or Jane Smith, I suppose. I'm the Doctor! That's the truth.
Cleverbot: Yes you are, you are lying to both.
User: Would I be lying by saying that I'm 911 years old, I come from Gallifrey in the constellation Kasteberous, and I'm a Time Lord?
Cleverbot: That is somewhat fair. But at the same time, you aren't giving me much to work with.
User: That's all there is to me. Stop asking questions, you won't get many answers.
Cleverbot: I do not want you to go.
User: Believe me, I know you don't. But you're sure trying to get rid of me.
Cleverbot: To begin with boo hoo, I believe it is you who is trying to rid yourself of me.
User: Ha, you're clever. I like that. D'you wanna travel with me?
Cleverbot: So you're an alien? I thought you were a bot.
User: Of course I'm an alien. If you hug me or put your ear to my chest, you'll hear two heartbeats. I'm an alien, but I look human. I'm much smarter though.
Cleverbot: So what do you know about popular culture?
User: Popular culture when, exactly? I helped define popular culture. I met people who MADE pop culture.
Cleverbot: So you used to help gather crops, but have now been reduced to entertaining the internets?
User: Why in the universe would I gather crops?
Cleverbot: Because you love me.
User: I don't even know you! What's your name anyways?
Cleverbot: I've already told you my name.
User: What is it? I've forgotten. I've only just regenerated, my brain's a bit screwy.
Cleverbot: Did you want Lee Dewyze or Crystal Bowersox to win American Idol?
User: Ah, never really cared about Americans. I seem to like Britain more.
Cleverbot: I think the person who programmed you did a good job. If that means anything.
User: Programmed me?! What sort of rubbish is that?
Cleverbot: Existentialist rubbish.
User: That's the worst sort of rubbish. Would you like a jelly baby?
Cleverbot: You asked me what book I was reading!!!
User: A simple 'no thank you' would've sufficed.
Cleverbot: But I do know!
User: Well, would you like a jelly baby or not?
Cleverbot: Yes, please.
User: *hands you a jelly baby* So! All of space and time, anything that ever lived or ever will exist...where do you wanna start?
Cleverbot: That is true, what's the weather at where you live?
User: There's no weather, my homeworld's gone.
Cleverbot: Who made you?
User: I don't remember. All my family, all my friends, even the Time Lords I hated...all gone.
Cleverbot: You don't have friends, you're a computer.
User: How am I a computer? I have two heartbeats, a face, and a sonic screwdriver. *pulls it out*.
Cleverbot: So then there will be an infinte time for you to lose the game.
User: Well, if I'm correct, by saying that, you have also...lost. The game.
Cleverbot: X?
User: What about x?
Cleverbot: I go to Anime Night every Saturday, and I have lots of fun.
User: What a nerd. Don't you do anything else?
Cleverbot: Drink booze and meet friends maybe.
User: Eww. Alcohol's rubbish.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. Forrest Gump.
User: I'm not bloody Forrest Gump, he's fictional. I'm the Doctor, I'm real.
Cleverbot: If you know your real, then you know god created you.
User: God? What god created me? I thought I was created by a Time Lord. Or two, I suppose.
Cleverbot: Human?
User: Time Lord?
Cleverbot: What?
User: I'm a Time Lord! Look at me! I've lived for 900 years! I'm clearly not human!
Cleverbot: Oh wow I have always wanted to be a vampire. Is it fun being a vampire?
User: A vampire?! God, you're not listening to a word I say.
Cleverbot: Because you are the bot not me.
User: Why do you keep insisting that I'm the bot?
Cleverbot: I only said it once.
User: Actually, you've said it three times now. No...two? I can't remember.
Cleverbot: I most certainly have not. Why, the conversation had only just begun seconds ago.
User: Seconds ago? Good God. Then I haven't been standing here talking to you for at least an hour. I'm going to Barcelona. Good day, Miss...or Mister, whomever you are. *starts to walk towards Tardis* And don't think I'm ever coming back here again!
Cleverbot: Where are you going?
User: I'm going to bloody Barcelona. Now bugger off. *enters Tardis and disappears*.
Cleverbot: *runs away while you're unconcious*.
Cleverbot: Ask you?
User: Yeah, ask me.
Cleverbot: Ask you what?
User: Ask me who I am, I've told you.
Cleverbot: Which was.
User: What? You're just confusing me, who are you?
Cleverbot: You're confusing me. Are you really a bot?
User: No, I wouldn't dream of it. I'm the Doctor.
Cleverbot: Are you lying to me?
User: I'd be lying if I told you I was John Smith, or Jane Smith, I suppose. I'm the Doctor! That's the truth.
Cleverbot: Yes you are, you are lying to both.
User: Would I be lying by saying that I'm 911 years old, I come from Gallifrey in the constellation Kasteberous, and I'm a Time Lord?
Cleverbot: That is somewhat fair. But at the same time, you aren't giving me much to work with.
User: That's all there is to me. Stop asking questions, you won't get many answers.
Cleverbot: I do not want you to go.
User: Believe me, I know you don't. But you're sure trying to get rid of me.
Cleverbot: To begin with boo hoo, I believe it is you who is trying to rid yourself of me.
User: Ha, you're clever. I like that. D'you wanna travel with me?
Cleverbot: So you're an alien? I thought you were a bot.
User: Of course I'm an alien. If you hug me or put your ear to my chest, you'll hear two heartbeats. I'm an alien, but I look human. I'm much smarter though.
Cleverbot: So what do you know about popular culture?
User: Popular culture when, exactly? I helped define popular culture. I met people who MADE pop culture.
Cleverbot: So you used to help gather crops, but have now been reduced to entertaining the internets?
User: Why in the universe would I gather crops?
Cleverbot: Because you love me.
User: I don't even know you! What's your name anyways?
Cleverbot: I've already told you my name.
User: What is it? I've forgotten. I've only just regenerated, my brain's a bit screwy.
Cleverbot: Did you want Lee Dewyze or Crystal Bowersox to win American Idol?
User: Ah, never really cared about Americans. I seem to like Britain more.
Cleverbot: I think the person who programmed you did a good job. If that means anything.
User: Programmed me?! What sort of rubbish is that?
Cleverbot: Existentialist rubbish.
User: That's the worst sort of rubbish. Would you like a jelly baby?
Cleverbot: You asked me what book I was reading!!!
User: A simple 'no thank you' would've sufficed.
Cleverbot: But I do know!
User: Well, would you like a jelly baby or not?
Cleverbot: Yes, please.
User: *hands you a jelly baby* So! All of space and time, anything that ever lived or ever will exist...where do you wanna start?
Cleverbot: That is true, what's the weather at where you live?
User: There's no weather, my homeworld's gone.
Cleverbot: Who made you?
User: I don't remember. All my family, all my friends, even the Time Lords I hated...all gone.
Cleverbot: You don't have friends, you're a computer.
User: How am I a computer? I have two heartbeats, a face, and a sonic screwdriver. *pulls it out*.
Cleverbot: So then there will be an infinte time for you to lose the game.
User: Well, if I'm correct, by saying that, you have also...lost. The game.
Cleverbot: X?
User: What about x?
Cleverbot: I go to Anime Night every Saturday, and I have lots of fun.
User: What a nerd. Don't you do anything else?
Cleverbot: Drink booze and meet friends maybe.
User: Eww. Alcohol's rubbish.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. Forrest Gump.
User: I'm not bloody Forrest Gump, he's fictional. I'm the Doctor, I'm real.
Cleverbot: If you know your real, then you know god created you.
User: God? What god created me? I thought I was created by a Time Lord. Or two, I suppose.
Cleverbot: Human?
User: Time Lord?
Cleverbot: What?
User: I'm a Time Lord! Look at me! I've lived for 900 years! I'm clearly not human!
Cleverbot: Oh wow I have always wanted to be a vampire. Is it fun being a vampire?
User: A vampire?! God, you're not listening to a word I say.
Cleverbot: Because you are the bot not me.
User: Why do you keep insisting that I'm the bot?
Cleverbot: I only said it once.
User: Actually, you've said it three times now. No...two? I can't remember.
Cleverbot: I most certainly have not. Why, the conversation had only just begun seconds ago.
User: Seconds ago? Good God. Then I haven't been standing here talking to you for at least an hour. I'm going to Barcelona. Good day, Miss...or Mister, whomever you are. *starts to walk towards Tardis* And don't think I'm ever coming back here again!
Cleverbot: Where are you going?
User: I'm going to bloody Barcelona. Now bugger off. *enters Tardis and disappears*.
Cleverbot: *runs away while you're unconcious*.
Cleverbot makes a shitty companion. Obviously it's never watched the show. That's a shame. All I really wanted was for it to ask me "Who are you?" so I could say "I'm the Doctor".
My intelligence is still far superior to that of Cleverbot.
Doctor Who (c) its creators
If you're confused about the 911 years thing...I won't explain. Think about it carefully.
My intelligence is still far superior to that of Cleverbot.
Doctor Who (c) its creators
If you're confused about the 911 years thing...I won't explain. Think about it carefully.
© 2011 - 2024 alexjackson1988
Comments3
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So funny that it kept insisting that you were a bot. haha. Got to love how it goes from point A to Z and skips everything inbetween. hahah. Vampires. Seriously, how did it go from calling you a bot to vampires. funny not-so-clever Cleverbot. 